Jealousy. Most of us confuse it with envy. But, let me clear that air first. Envy is wanting someone else’s possession but jealousy is associated with insecurity.
Relationships are brittle and delicate. A lot of factors come into play when you are involved with another human being on various levels of association. And, jealousy does play a vital role of them all. Well, many of us would argue if it’s healthy in a long-lasting relationship or not. But, I think, just like everything else it has its pros and cons! Let’s see how it plays the role of a “tie-breaker”.
When in a relationship, you share a bond where you make sure everything is an open book. No secrets. There is this thought that always pops in your mind and you expect it does in your partner’s mind as well – You are entitled to every little detail going on in your partner’s life! And this is where jealousy smirks.
It could be really distressing to hear things about your partner from someone else. And, that is when the mind plays games with you. You start checking your partner’s phone, stalking on social-networking sites and keeping track of their whereabouts. This slowly gets tiring for the both of you and one of you just gives up eventually.
This is not just about a third person. It could be a lot of other things about your partner. You could get jealous if your partner is more experienced in something compared to you, or if they are doing better in their career than you, or if there is something in their life that they equally value and it’s pretty hard for them to make a choice between you and that. So, in cases like this, I think jealousy has to be kept aside and the matter should be looked at from a positive perspective. That way, you know what’s bothering you and what needs to be sorted out. Else, it might just become a big mess and it will only be a matter of time before you part ways.
But, then again, there are days when this lover of yours makes you smile. You find it cute when you see them get possessive if someone flirts with you or tries to gain your attention. It is a sign of commitment and you know that they are afraid to lose you to anyone else.
Plus, it is only when you see your partner getting attracted to things you don’t possess that you try inculcating in yourself those traits! You try becoming a better person for them as well as for your own sake. Getting jealous can help you grow up.
The best way to turn this monster called ‘jealousy’ into an angel in a relationship is by talking about it. Communication is the only ultimate solution. You should assure each other that you care enough to feel jealous and talk about it rather than get psychotic.
I think everything has its flip side and so does being jealous. One must know when to hold their partner’s hand, smile at the silly questions and reassure them that there’s nothing to be worried about and when to stand up and leave.